First off, I can honestly say I’ve been lucky enough to collect some incredible friends over the years. Every one of these guys has been there through work, chaos, questionable decisions, career changes, and more stories than should probably ever be repeated publicly. I couldn’t be more excited to have them standing beside me and Brittany on this day.

Married to Jodi West. At this point I’m honestly not sure whether Jerry has more children or more animals, but either way, he’s outnumbered.

Jerry and I met in the corporate investigations’ world, handling internal and external cases. During our very first assignment together, we quickly discovered that the “rules” were apparently more like… suggestions.

One particular moment stands out. During an attempt to apprehend a suspect, I somehow ended up partially rolled up in a car window while the suspect attempted to leave. While most people would probably let go and preserve their coworker’s dignity and spine, Jerry chose loyalty. He grabbed me by the legs and refused to let me disappear into the sunset attached to someone else’s vehicle. That day, was the day the beginning of records being set, policies being rewritten, and the modern art of suspect apprehension was forever changed.

Jerry has remained one of my best and closest friends ever since. Although, fair warning to everyone here that attends: if Jerry gets ahold of the microphone, there is a very real possibility Brittany will immediately unplug the sound system.

Bobby and I go way back, to around 16 years old when we both worked at a local movie theater. Somehow, despite our age and questionable qualifications, management decided giving us authority was a good idea. It was not.

From hosting late-night free movie showings for our friends to turning closing shifts into competitive games of hide-and-seek after customers left, we pioneered a completely new and highly ineffective style of management.

Bobby was also one of my first roommates. There were three of us splitting the cost of a luxurious $400 apartment, which should tell you everything you need to know about the apartment.

The stories from those days are legendary, mostly because enough time has passed so that they can finally be told without legal consequences.

I first met David in the world of corporate investigations and security, and almost immediately knew we’d end up being lifelong friends. Together, we’ve probably put enough people in jail to accidentally qualify as a statistical category.

After corporate life, both of us moved into careers in law enforcement, which only multiplied the stories. If you’ve ever worked with David, you quickly realize one thing: there’s absolutely no way the movie Super Troopers wasn’t at least partially inspired by him.

David somehow combines professionalism, chaos, and perfect timing in a way that makes every shift memorable and every report significantly longer than necessary. He’s the kind of friend who always shows up and usually brings a story nobody believes.

Joe and I met back in elementary school, which means he has known me long enough to qualify for some type of award. Joe has practically helped raise my kids with me. Whether it was coaching soccer teams, helping with the business as our analyst, or somehow always ending up being the dependable one in every situation, Joe’s been there.

Joe also had the pleasure (or burden) of living with me and Bobby as a roommate. Surviving that experience alone should qualify him for special recognition.

For the bachelor party, Brittany has officially assigned Joe one responsibility: make sure I actually show up to the wedding. I, on the other hand, assigned Joe an equally important responsibility: make sure the party never dies.

No pressure.

To all of these guys……. thank you.
Thank you for the years of friendship, the stories, the loyalty, the laughs, and for standing beside me during this part of my life. Brittany and I couldn’t be more excited to celebrate this day with all of you.